It’s that time of the year, depression, guilt, gluttony, seeing people you’d rather not see. I’m talking of course about your annual Christmas Party. With all the decorating, preparation of food, and searching for the alcohol with the highest proof, you haven’t really given much thought to what music you’re going to play. Fear not gentile reader because I have taken the time to pick out some choice holiday jams that will have everyone dancing under the mistletoe either from glee, or it may be the pee pee dance. Either way they should enjoy.
DMX-Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
Who doesn’t love this standard? Hardcore rap icon DMX sure does, because he belts out this song in true hip-hop fashion recently. This should be the cornerstone of your musical celebration because it’s fun and light-hearted, but at the same time, will give your party the street-cred it so desperately needs.
Tom Waits- Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis
While those who are unfamiliar with Waits voice may be put off on his voice,but don’t let that stop you from enjoying the message. The song tells a pretty great story about a woman who’s in prison writing a letter to a person she’s not over yet to borrow money. This song is punctuated with the song Silent Night to make you realize that even at our worst we always have hope. This is the type of song that, if you know it, you seem to remember the first place you heard it, and can relate to those who’ve heard it as well.
Bob Dylan-Here Comes Santa Claus
While we’re on the subject of singers with raspy voices that are not known for holiday songs, let’s dig into this one. Leave it to Bob Dylan to take a perennial favorite like this and just make it creepy as fuck. While Dylan is the voice of a generation, apparently he took Decembers off. This is the type of song that people are gonna look at you and wonder if you are actually crazy for playing this, and have a good laugh.
Madonna- Santa Baby
While Eartha Kitt made this famous, Madonna made amped it up with a bit more sexy. There is something about this song that makes you feel a bit naughty, which could be nice. It makes you do a little dance with that special someone and try to steal a little kiss. Play this one near the end of the night.
The DiCamillo Sisters feat. Jimmy Pop – But Why Is It So Cold?
Imagine If Richard Nixon decided to play Santa then rap about it? You’re starting to get the gist of this song. It’s a fun little song that is going to make everyone laugh…extremely hard. Trust me, it’s funny.
Run DMC-Christmas in Hollis
It’s Christmas time in Hollis Queens, mom’s cooking chicken & collard greens, and it made for a hip-hop Christmas classic. Anyone who grew up in the 80’s most likely loves this song, and will appreciate the fact that you play this back in the day jam. This one is gonna make everyone stand up and dance.
Aimee Mann- You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch
This is an amazing cover of this song, because the song has Grant Lee quotes “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” lines throughout the song. This goes well with Aimee Mann’s voice. It’s the rare Chistmas song that is totally negative, but everyone loves. I think this version may be a new holiday tradition.
Bing Crosby & David Bowie- Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy
This may be the weirdest collaboration I think I have ever heard in my life. These are two of the polar opposite people singing two different songs at the same time. While it seems it could end up as a total crap-fest, it actually works in this case. It’s as charming as it is heartwarming, and I think your guests will love it.
Tiny Tim- Santa Claus has got the Aids This Year
This song is pretty much what you think it is. This may not be appropriate for…well anyone actually. This song shouldn’t make me laugh, but it does, and it might make your party guests laugh too.
Garfunkle & Oates- Scary F’ed Up Christmas
While I don’t do drugs, I know a ton of people who do, and for those people I dedicate this song. Even if you don’t partake you’ll most likely enjoy this tune too.
Well I hope I have made your task of creating the ultimate Christmas party a little easier. If you’ve got some other choice holiday jams to add to my list please feel free to add them in the comments below. Until next time, may your egg nog be spiked and your gifts are plentiful.